FRIDAY 13TH

Today, on the most fitting Friday the 13th possible, we celebrate horror’s most iconic mama’s boy: Jason Voorhees.

In a twist even he couldn’t slash apart, today also happens to be Jason Voorhees’ official birthday in the Friday the 13th timeline—the day the drowned boy of Camp Crystal Lake was born before becoming the legend we know. Coincidence? Or fate sharpening its machete?

While most birthdays call for cake and candles, Jason’s calls for a revisit to Camp Crystal Lake, where the water is always too still, the woods are too quiet, and the air smells faintly of wet hockey masks and regret. Born from tragedy and nurtured by decades of nightmares, Jason didn’t just star in slasher history, he hacked his way into its very foundation.

What makes Jason endure when so many horror villains fade? It’s not just the machete. It’s the simplicity of his rage, a drowned boy rejected by life, now rejecting everyone else’s right to keep breathing. The hockey mask became a blank canvas for our fears, and Camp Crystal Lake transformed from a cheap filming location into a place audiences still side-eye when passing real lakes. Jason taught us that trauma doesn’t die, it just learns to hold its breath longer.

So how do you properly honor horror’s most relentless revenant? This birthday demands a marathon. Start with the original 1980 film (where Mrs. Voorhees steals the show), appreciate the absurdity of *Jason Takes Manhattan*, and debate whether *Jason X* (in space!) is a masterpiece or a crime against canon. Or, for the truly devoted, take a pilgrimage to New Jersey’s Camp No-Be-Bo-Sco, where the real Crystal Lake still waits; patient, silent, and ready to remind you why you never swim after dark.

Final thought: Jason’s real gift to horror wasn’t the kills, it was proving that sometimes, the quietest monsters are the loudest in our minds. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be listening for the sound of distant chopping in the breeze… just in case.